Auspicious Alchemy: Arcanist in-fight

Hey all,

It’s been a little while, hasn’t it? Like everyone on this planet, I am afflicted with a “life” which gets in the way of doing things on a social and personal level. However, having a life is good, especially a social one. It’s always good to get out into reality (the graphics are awesome but the game-play feels like it’s still in beta).

Since it’s been a while since I’ve “checked in” per se to the House, I’ll give you a brief rundown of The Warlock’s life (yes, he has one :P) in the past…er…undefined time period.

In the Merry Ol’ Land of Oz, I’ve gained bountiful employment, huzzah! After about 87 applications over the course of 5 months. It’s night/evening shifts with a 1-2am finish at a histo lab doing stuffs so it’s good in that I get sleep ins (sorta) and that it doesn’t really clash with uni which starts back on the 3rd- one subject, one day 8-1. Sleep, like sanity, is for the weak.


Ah Dawn of War, good times, good times

Before I gained this, I went breachside and took up Malifaux (as previous posts show). It’s a great game and the Random Number god favours me in card form (save when I’m using an Arcanist crew with my Guild-themed fate deck, I’m not the brightest bulb). This and I’d heartily recommend it to anyone who likes horror, steampunk and the wild west- there’s something for everyone except maybe knights :S

Game nights were Wed nights or Sunday arvos, though with work being evenings only, I’m limited to 1 game a week, if I feel like gaming. Gotta get the motivation mojo happening.

Moving on, I’ve gotten to grips on my Ramos crew- Make scrap summon spiders, yeah groovy!

What’s that? You’re afraid of spiders? Well you can just…

Arcanists fo' life.


The most recent game was Ramos vs Marcus, both Arcanist masters. Using the 2016 strats and schemes, we flipped Informant (rams) – you need to have 2 or more non-peons within 6″ of the informant marker to score VP and whoever has more non-peons within 6″ can move the informant up to 3″. Schemes were Hunting Partay (crows), Undercover entourage (partying hard on the inside, er ‘2’), Neutralize the leader (Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! ‘3’) and Leave your mark (tomes)- I chose Neutralize the leader and undercover entourage.

My crew is pretty stock standard now, but when the Large arachnids are released later this year….

Anyhow, list:

Ramos, combat mechanic, arcing screen, arcane reservoir

Joss, bleeding edge tech, soul siphon (nominated for undrcover entourage)

2x gun smiths

Pain Train, the rail golem.

Steampunk arachnid #II

My opponents list was:

Marcus, Myranda, Jackalop, Rogue Necromancy, 1 shikome, a war wabbit and a waldgeist (forest-ghost!)

With a cache of 6 soulstones, I was banking on Joss killing his way across the board with a chop-chop here and a chop-chop there. As always, the first activations is “spider moves to edge of Joss’s charge range and either contemplates its death and how it will bring life. Marcus had his +3wk upgrade, which is a HUGE FUCKING DEAL when you need to be in range of something for VP purposes. Also threat range.

Ramos summoned 2 spiders (lacked a high tome card for the casting) and spiders #I and #V were born. Spider V wasn’t having any of this “I want to move the informant” from my opponent and used his 1 AP (as summoned things are slow, so they get 1AP instead of 2) to end in base contact with Marcus.

As things heated up and the rogue necromancy launched a poisonous breath attack at a gunsmith, the rail golem attempted to move up the board, using its burning+1 to use Locomotion and if not get in combat, get close to the informant. The Waldgeist germinated and tried to kill spider V, to no avail. The other gunsmith took a pot shot at the shikome and Myranda tried to attack Spider V. Spider V remained unscathed but became slightly miffed.

Turn one ended with not much happening. Turn two however, saw me out-activate my opponent as spiders III and VI joined the fray after spider II bit the dust unceremoniously. The war wabbit was getting closer to my back field, lining up a charge for turn three.

Spider V is the reason you need health insurance. He WILL come after you.

Spider V is the reason you need health insurance. He WILL come after you.

Spider V is a living legend. This is the take home message of this post: You don’t fuck with Spider V. He’ll survive anything and then come back for more. HE EATS PAIN LIKE YOU EAT CHEETOS. You will rue the day you cross Spider V! He’ll kill you so hard you’ll die to death. Spider V attacked Marcus, Marcus attacked Spider V, the rogue necromancy attacked the gunsmith, the rail golem attacked the shikome, the other spiders did jack shit apart from trying to deny the Informant movement bonus. Myranda tried to heal Marcus, the Waldgeist stopped the rail golem from moving and Joss tried to kill stuff too. This turn was pretty much a melee as the informant watched on, feeling quite important all of a sudden.

The waldgeist was promptly shot from one of my gunsmiths, as he could finally get him with rg12″ gunz.

In turn three, everything started to fall apart. My opponent had more VP than me and he’s managed to kill most of my spiders. After a long and gallant fight, Spider V finally was put down after Myranda shapeshifted into a Slate Ridge Mauler. She tried to bear hug Spider V, and failed. She then tried to attack Spider V and failed. Obviously those claws are for eating berries and nuts. Marcus tried to turn Spider V into a beast, failed then when “FUCK THIS SHIT” and finally ended the reign of terror known as Spider V. Other stuff happened this turn like Ramos being charged by the war wabbit and a gunsmith randomizing shooting and killing a spider but that pales in significance to the loss of Spider V.

The game went to a fifth turn with only Ramos (who charged into melee on purpose- with a 1/2/7 damage spread you want to try for severe damage), a gunsmith (who charged off a roof into Marcus) and Joss (on his last wound post-reactivate). Marcus was on 50% health, I needed 1 more wound to get some sweet, sweet VP. I lost initiative and Marcus killed both Ramos and the Gunsmith. Joss died vs a bear.

At 4:8, I lost but to my credit, I did play the strat and schemes quite well. The cards can and will screw you over. Fate is fickle, don’tcha know? Spider V was my MVVP. Most Viciously Valuable Player. Steampunk arachnids everywhere should aspire to be like Spider V.

Once the Black Blood Shamans are out, I’ll be playing me some Neverborn. Till then, SPIDER V KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE!

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  • MerryVulture

    Alright Spider V! Nice write up. Makes me want to relearn Malifaux. I seem to have forgotten a bit. Which happens when you only have played maybe 5 games, the most recent of which was around a year ago. How does Spider V feel about mannequins?

    • The Warlock

      Hey Merry, thanks! Malifaux is great fun despite having about an 83% grasp on the rules…I need to remember stuffs better.

      Get back in! Wave 2 models are almost all released and there’s new 2016 strategies and schemes which make you work hard for the VP (well, maybe not hard but they do play similarly to the old ones).

      I haven’t face Collette just yet, so Spider V has no strong feelings about mannequins. Gonna touch up his paint job with a red V or something, give him some kinda battle-honour

  • Von

    I played Malifaux once.

    *nods, smiles, stares into space*

    Could you explain how the mission things/army selection work? I’ve never quite understood. You pick your faction, then two objectives, then your actual list? Something like that?

    • The Warlock

      Ok, listen up young feller me lad! 😛 with malifaux, you declare factions, say Arcanists. Then you select your master from that faction, – I have Ramos, Mei Feng and Marcus. From there you hire anyone within that faction aside things exclusive to other masters- just totems etc. Once that’s done you flip for the strategy, then 2 cards for 4 schemes both of these determine Vp. Out of the four, you choose two and record them secretly as 2016’s schemes don’t allow a reveal til vp is earned from them. Can’t remember the order regarding Crew hiring but that’s the gist of it

  • Nice batrep. You forgot to use the “Na na na na na na na na batrep!” tag by the way 😀

    I really like some of the Malifaux models. I’ve actually bought some ronin just to paint, but haven’t got around to them yet. The newer Ortega box set looks awesome too. I’d definitely watch a game if the opportunity arose…

    • The Warlock

      I couldn’t find that tag ;_; It eludes me haha

      The ronin are sweet-as models and are the best 5/6 soulstone model you could add into a crew. I might be down in Canberra for Wintercon to get my arse kicked in another state to play some Malifaux- the game takes about 1-2 hours to play and the dice gods can’t hurt you if you don’t roll any dice!

      • Awesome! Hit me up if you make it, I’ll come and say hi.
        Bring your long pants and a jacket. Winter in Canberra is er… not like winter in QLD.

        • The Warlock

          So I’m going from “I can’t believe it’s not Summer!” to “0 Kelvin” ? Gotta try and get the Friday night off from work so I can make it for both days, unsure if I want to fly down or road trip it. I’ll be up for games and meeting up and possibly bad tactical decisions on the tabletop 😛

  • Cedric Ballbusch

    Batreps are always fun. As I know little (nothing actually) about the game, I admit the action is a little hard to follow at times. Fun nonetheless.

    • The Warlock

      The action happens a bit too fast for the ol’ noggin’ to really make a true recollection, nevertheless it’s a fun game.
      Probs going back to Neverborn soon and not sure how I’ll cope without summoning expendable spiders I -IV and VI and the indispensable Spider V

  • Thuloid

    I know nothing about Malifaux mechanics, but enough about spiders. Nice batrep.

    • The Warlock

      Mechanics are basically flipping cards instead of dice- for a “simple” duel, it’s just you flipping a card to reach a target number (TN)- these may have built-in suits or require suits. Opposed duels is where you make a flip and add the value of the card to the melee (ml), shooting (sh) or casting (ca) total (the latter may also require a TN to be met) and your opponent flips a card for the targeted stat- either defence (Df) or willpower (Wp) If your result is higher, you make a damage flip the X/Y/Z spread is weak/moderate/severe damage- depends on the flipped card 1-5/6-10/11-13. Sometimes there’s +ve or -ve twists- for a positive twist you flip an extra card (double pos’s get 2 extra cards) and you choose whichever one you want. A negative twist is the same but you -must- pick the lowest. Fate is a high-maintenance girlfriend