Dragons_Claw’s rather random tour of the House
So four years of careful infiltration work has finally come to fruition. Management has changed and the House has recently received a masive remodeling but through it all I maintained a presence each apparently random act, slightly off topic and apparently meaningless comment edging me ever closer an endgame that nobody was prepared for. Here I am at the controls of the house clad in my Ninja suit and my nefarious plot is about to be realised………….
Now if i could just remember what that was!!!
You see that the problem with long term undercover missions it just so easy to get a bit distracted and lose yourself in the Identity you have created.
Well while we’re here better explore the reconfigured house as the Desert Fox himself said.
“time spent in reconnaissance is seldom wasted”
Starting in the grounds I see that the laser defense grid is still very much intact and from the look of all the churned earth Bushcraft has been continuing his experiments in alternative agricultural applications, namely growing high explosives. He insists that all the periodic explosions are due the falling leaves from his nitroglycerin tree.
Further into the distance extends the UN mandated three mile de-militarised exclusion zone which always seems to have more gunfire echoing through the deserted streets than something called a de-militarised zone should have.
Unsure as to how far the mine fields extend nowadays I venture back towards the stark the edifice of the House itself. The entrance to the crypts appear to have been cemented shut. Well that has Lo’s fingerprints all over it should never have revealed that as my main incursion point and should probably stopped feeding Dave the guard shark when I was warned too.
The sun is suddenly blotted from the sky and my eyes adjust to the gloom I see the warlocks Arcane Fastness float overhead I could be imagining it but I’m sure it’s orbit is getting more and more eratic.
Porkies shed hoves into view it appears to have gained several new addition and I would swear it appears to be creeping ever closer to the main house.
Well that’s strange the doors I exited from a few moments before now appears to be a solid brick wall the house is obviously still in flux. Making my way along the now impervious wall I head towards the carpark before spotting a small basement window well. That could be worth a punt sliding down into the well I start to pry at the edge when suddenly.
Ahh yes this must be a window into GMorts old basement although the man himself is now absent several of his err…creations still remain and some disturbing reports of an individual introducing himself as GMorts the cheerful are determinedly stubborn in their persistence. The basement as always is an area best avoided for those attached to their skin.
Easing up from the windows light well I continue along the perimeter of the house and approach the car park which seems remarkably unchanged the camo nets and empty ammo box still surround one space with DZ sprayed painted in 6 ft high letters on one spot.
Dethtrons red snowmobile is still in place surrounded by candles and weeping pilgrims, it always surprises me how many make it this far gaining entry to the House being such a perilous journey. One new addition does make itself pretty obvious
That’ll be Sabot with an unorthodox parking style.
Being careful of trip wires and trap doors I spot an entrance and brace myself for whatever awaits me in the House. From previous painful and repeated experience I know that just wandering the halls can be a dangerous activity. Spotting an overhead heating duct I leap up pop the entrance hatch and clamber inside. Now that’s better having used these ducts to evade capture for several years I feel immediately at home although the twists and turns have changed with the new house layout.
I suddenly hear a scampering skittering noise getting closer and closer I steel myself for a potentially life threatening situation when a herd of question marks suddenly stampede from a T junction and hare off away from me well that’s not something you see every day
Working my way further along the ductwork I keep moving pausing periodically to listen for clues to my location after my third or fourth stop I detect a clinking noise interspersed with the clatter of keyboards being worked furiously.
Edging forward I peer through a heating vent aghhh yes this is the writers room. They are certainly packed in there now in. One desk remains empty apart from a stack of undead fancier and beard aficionado magazines topped with a fedora a note stuck jauntily out of the band ‘Gone to Wales back for the fresh intake of stabbin interns’.
In one corner of the room the remains of a pen stand empty apart from several pools of an unidentifiable viscous liquid.
I thought it had been a bit quiet Sin is obviously on the Lamb again oh well I’m sure it’s someone else’s turn to fetch him back I’ve still not quite recovered from the last time.
Continuing down I stop at another grate and take a quick glance to find a library which appears much larger than well the whole of the rest of the house this has to be Porkies, Thuloid and Beat Ronin’s influence.
I keep going trying to keep track of all the twist and turns but it’s an object lesson in futility there is no obvious internal structure and I seem to have taken about fifteen right hand turns but never seem to come back to the same point.
There is obviously some strange temporal anomalies going on I’m not even sure the laws of physics are applicable in the house or if they are they are obviously not strictly enforced.
At the next vent I attempt to get my bearings
Well that helps not one jot!
And that even less so! how far into the house have i got has anyone ever ventured this far before getting desperate I start checking every vent
OK its now definitively time to turn back but which way is back? I’m not even sure which way I’m going or where up is any more. A cold feeling of fear creeps up my back when I suddenly notice that all the walls around me are covered in hazard warning stripes. Well that can’t be good. Ironically with no warning whatsoever my stomach lurches up into my mouth as the floor disappears underneath me.
Landing face first I am momentarily stunned as the stars clear from my eyes I take in my surroundings a white board takes up one wall scrawled with ‘priority targets for Kidnap’ this is crossed out and replaced with recruitment there are a long list of familiar names crossed out the only ones left are Captain Kellen and Zab.
The next wall has many, many, many purses displayed upon it. For a person who has just taken an 8ft unexpected fall I get a surprising sinking feeling. As I turn further a large desk dominates one end of the room my eyes slowly pan up to take in Lo leaning across the desk staring down at me a wolfish grin upon her face.
“Hello DC good to see you”
I’ve got a bad feeling about this but she continues quickly as I think she senses my trepidation one hand reaches out and pulls a suspiciously heavy looking purse a bit closer to her. “I have a little job for you”
“This is a xenos retrieval gig isn’t it”
Her spreading grin is all the answer I need.