[Surprise Attack!] Project Infinity: The Unveiling-ening-ening
|Tank-Hunter, Scout, Para-Commando|
|Line Kazak, Veteran Kazak, Volunteer|
|Controller, Mormaer, S.A.S./Intel Spec Ops|
|Scout, Volunteer, Doktor|
|Antipodes Assault Pack|
You know what sucks more ass than 15mm splinter camo? 28mm kilts. Holy smokes…
Bonus Round: There’s a few different ‘Arctic Camo’ schemes at play here. Which one should I go with?
Here’s what I took to the shindig. Game one was a matchup with a fellow n00b playing Combined Army that saw me with a 6-1 win in the scenario “The One Where You Have To Activate Stuff Before You Activate The Main Thingy”. I took first turn and amongst the initial chicanery and jostling my Cameronian rampaged up the midboard doing what he does best: Crushing mooks and super-jumping all over the damn place. Eventually he ran up against something called a “Speculum Killer”, a name which made me feel hurty in places I didn’t even know I had.
|WWF-style straight-arm. No objective for you!|
Ahhh…what’s that you say? “Specu-LO Killer”? I see. That makes a little more sense. Well, she had some ridiculous level of martial arts and monofilament auto-kill bullshit that cut down my massive, kilted werewolf but by that point he’d put a hurting on a few dudes and smoked-bombed the sniper that the
Speculum Speculo was guarding, so caution kept my opponent out of the center ring where the objectives were. Might have had something to do with a pack of Antipodes de-cloaking from one camo counter and running around yipping at anyone that got near while I scooped up the objectives. Good dude, and a good game.
Unfortunately, this is where I failed you. That pic above is one of only two I took during the entire tournament. Yeah…I snapped a quick one of the first combat of the day, then got all caught up in the hootinanny and whoopity-do and the time just slipped by. You know how it is. I’ll do better next time, which is soon, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Game two was a big ol’ WTF. Scenario was “Frontline”, where you score objective points for pushing guys farther and farther upfield. I took first turn again (because my aforementioned gangster status was strong that day) against a seasoned player who was running Yu-Jing. Being both a rookie and a dumbass, I have no idea how much Yu-Jing troops cost and figured he had probably close to everything on the table. I couldn’t help but notice he had a bunch of drones and an engineer chilling out smoking weed right where I designated my para HMG to land, so I brought her in on Turn 1. She cleaned out the whole corner and set up overwatch between her and the rest of his duders, and my opponent went a little pale then announced he was now in retreat. See, if you lose more than 60% of your troops that are on the board at that moment, your dudes start running away. Guys that are off the table due to being some kind of reserve or whatever don’t count towards your total. Bad news for you. The rules of “Frontline” are that if you go into retreat the game ends at the end of the turn. So, he still gets his active turn next but no matter what we can’t go past Turn 1 now. Nice, right?
No. Not so nice. Tim (nefarious opponent’s name) popped the hidden deployment on a bunch of Thermo Optic camod’ ninjas he had spaced out on the centerline. Ohhhhh…so that wasn’t all his troops before. Fuck. Now that he had his whole army on the board, he was technically back to being below the retreat threshold but the game would still end on Turn 1 due to the scenario rules. He dashed some dudes up the board as far as he could and it ended something like 5-2 for him. Twelve minute game, beginning to end. We had a pretty good laugh over that one: I hit him so hard that I lost. Since we had about an hour to kill until the final round, we played again for the lulz and had a good time of it. I’m pretty sure he won but by this point I had discovered the store sold beer, yes the store sold beer, and it’s a little fuzzy from this point on. I’ll be passing through Raleigh again soon and the rematch is already scheduled. En guarde!
Game three took place against the Dark Lord himself, Brian the TO. To the death!…because that’s the mission we played, “The One Where You Have To Kill Guys For Victory Points”.
Having crippled himself the night before making terrain for the tournament, and standing in line at the Emergency Room when he could have been resting before the big day, I clearly had the advantage over him. Wounded prey!
|Don’t judge him! Who among us hasn’t sliced off their thumb with a rogue X-acto knife? That’s what I thought. None of us are innocent.|
Which turned out to be totally not true. Not only did he play a skilled game with his Tohaa, and I did the opposite, but my hot-streak went ice cold while the heat turned up on his dice. He took first turn and dropped a para HMG into my deployment zone that gunned down everything in sight. I charged into hand-to-hand with my werewolf and my werewolf lost. Sigh. My camo’d snipers dueled him like it was ‘Enemy at the Gates’ and the snipers lost. Sigh. Eventually I brought him down, my only kill of the game. I dropped my para HMG into his deployment zone because two can play at that game, you big mean doo-doo head…and my para got blasted in the face by a piece of crap cheerleader the second she landed. Sigh.
That was turn one, and he hadn’t even used his T.A.G. yet. The rest of the game went along the same lines and he ended up winning something like 10,000 – 0.
Pretty sweet day. Brian was doing various giveaways and I took home the coveted “Longest Distance Driven” award (two hours), which is roughly equivalent to 3 Golden Demons. Nice. This garnered me a sweet Yuan-Yuan to bolster my forces. When I got home my kiddo pounced on it and fortunately (for me) was unable to get through the blister pack.
|This is the face of madness|
So, even though I failed you this time I have good news: I’m heading up to the D.C. area for work in the first half of December and it just so happens that the man, the myth, the legend Certs will be TO’ing a tournament at Victory Comics in Falls Church, VA, Sunday the 8th. Which I will be there for and this time I promise to take more pictures (remember what I said about promises though: I never keep them. Bad Guy Code of Conduct Rule #17). Certs has been working his ass off on some themed boards (snow, and jungle) for the NOVA open that need to be taken for a test drive.
I’ll even drive through Raleigh on Sunday the 1st on my way up there and have scheduled a rematch Day o’ Games with Tim the Hidden Ninja Master. So much Infinity! I hereby do rate this project an unqualified success, and I leave it for CK to come up with an appropriate rating value. This is bad news for you because it just advanced the timeline on my galactic takeover by about three or four years. Sorry, sucka. I’m not saying you should give up yet, it’s far more entertaining watching you struggle.
|Hint: I’m not the white one|
A couple observations:
1) I know it’s a small sample size, but it was a breath of fresh air to be at a tourney where no one had the poopy face after Round 1 because they lost and missed their chance to make it into first place. It was definitely For The Love of the Game and I dig that. Hell, if a game went by too fast we just played another for fun. Gamers did things like buy each other beers during a game.
2) The Venue. Holy shit. If you live in or around Raleigh and haven’t been to Atomic Empire you need to check them out. Hell, if you’re driving by on I-95 it’s worth stopping in. Seriously. I’ve had a long relationship with them from when they used to be Sci-Fi Genre. Back when I lived in Arizona for a year the local FLGS sucked ass and I mail-ordered my stuffs from Sci-Fi Genre, their online prices are freaking low and it’s too easy to cross the Free Shipping threshold. Then I moved to North Carolina and started going to their WHFB Tournaments. Nice place, decent size. Good staff. An online forum that gets the crap used out of it for scheduling drop in games, tournaments, special events, and releases.Well, I stopped playing WHFB and sorta forgot about them (sorry!) and this was my first trip to their new venue after the name change.
Wow. Same great people, but the store is about ten times the size. I’m barely joking. MASSIVE inventory, a warehouse in the back, and their gaming area is the size of the Bingo Hall I play at on Saturdays (at least 30 tables), except they have their own terrain. Lots of it. I should have taken pics. And I might not have mentioned this yet but THEY SERVE BEER. FROM A DEDICATED BARTENDER WHO WAITS AT A COUNTER BY THE COOLER. GOOD BEER. COLD. CHEAP.
Next time: Some how-to’s and experiments.
PS: Atomic Empire sells beer.