Where in the World is Lantz?- Lantz End Outlet

It looks like Lantz is feeling better after last week’s mystery illness that we’re reasonably sure had nothing to do with syphilis.  It also looks like he’s been fitted for a brand new suit of power armor as you can clearly see in the picture below.  Reliable sources have informed me that this photo has not been altered in any way.

Lantz says: I’m hoping this will be a typical Tuesday evening for me come 2017

 Alright Lantz, that’s some good work clearing out those vile greenskins.  Just make sure you burn the bodies so the spores can’t propagate.  Tune in next week to see what kinds of hijinks Lantz has up his sleeve.

Moving on to the not at all shameless grab for filler content contest, last week we asked you to act as casting director for House of Paincakes: The Movie and even offered up bonus points for coming up with a plot.  There were some great suggestions all around, but one of you just blew us away, coming up with a stellar casting selection and a “fantastic” story line.

Congrats to Grumhelden from Lines on Maps for coming up with this:

Lauby…Matt Damon from Bourne

Brent…Not Brent, but with a goatee

Dethron…Glen Danzig, whilst still a misfit

Loquacious…Claudia Black from Farscape

The plot: Lauby and Dethron are former enemies and blow up LA whilst trying to find a Nuke that Brent And Loq have stolen. Lauby and Deth eventually work out their differences using Apache Gunships and yet more explosions, before teaming up against the common threat of Brent and Loq. It turns out Loq used to be with Deth, but Lauby had a major thing for her, and it ruined the friendship between the three, poor Brent is just a puppet in it all. There is the inevitable last minute redemption as all four characters agree to detonate the bomb in the desert, so that the lessons are learned with minimal loss of life. Something contrived and stupid happens that means someone has to stay with the bomb,pointlessly sacrificing themselves to add a measure of pathos to an otherwise nonsensical film. It still makes more sense than the Horus Heresy series. 🙁

Now I have to point out that I’m easily 10 feet taller than Danzig, but otherwise I think all of the selections are spot on.  I even love the plot, though we all know that Brent will be the one who stays with the bomb – unless there is some kind of crappy twist.  Is it too soon to whisper Oscar?

Regardless, I’d like to thank everybody who participated for not only coming up with some hilarious ideas, but also for not resorting to film school 101 vocabulary like mise en scene to describe things… although Grumhelden’s use of the word pathos comes pretty close.

Now it’s time for this week’s not at all shameful grab for filler content contest with rules decided by me, since we forgot to get in touch with counterfett for winning last week 🙁

The contest:  If you could have any author (living or dead) write a guest article on your blog about wargamming, who would it be and what would you have them write about?

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