This is What Happens When You Find a Stranger in the Alps!

To start things off at this new site, I thought I’d do a flashback from way long time ago, and hope you enjoy.- Loquacious

 

Those of you that have blogs on the HoP network probably remember the “rigorous” application process you had to go through to join.  After submitting the required materials, personal essay, and financial aid information, we feel like you’ve made a little effort to join us.  As such, we respectfully develop a unique reply for every applicant, letting them know that we appreciate the time and effort they put in to join the revolution.  We feel very strongly about the personal touch creating a better, more meaningful experience for everyone and certain lucky members have probably gotten some very….interesting…. e-mails from Lauby or I who may or may not have been drunk when we sent it out.

stranger in the alps

When looking to improve your blog followership or just generally make a good impression on the community, this is a must.  A bit of kindness and effort goes a hell of a long way.  We, like other bloggers, are always happy to drop links for you guys, pimp your stuff, or otherwise help you out if you simply ask and ask nicely.

The etiquette at work here is simple.  If somebody leaves a comment on your blog, leave a reply back- they took the time to contribute to your discussion, let them know you appreciate it.  If somebody links you, offer to return the favor- not only is it the right thing to do, but it helps everyone in the community get their name out there for their own 15 minutes.

What happens when you find a stranger in the Alps* So great, Lauby and Dethtron are part of some patchouli drenched, socialist love in over the Internet.  Well, as well as we may or may not be known for being magnanimous, we, especially me, have a bit of a mean streak as well.  It’s maybe more subtle (read passive-aggressive) than a ‘if you fuck with my friends, I’m gonna mess you up’ kind of mentality, but if you mess with me or mine, I will not hesitate to spread a little bad will your direction.

I will be honest in saying that I don’t understand the purpose of Spam.  Does this really work?  Is there actually a response rate that can be measured reasonably without having to resort to scientific notation?  These are the questions that keep me up at night, sadly- as dreams of sugar plum marketing fairies dance through my head.

I suppose, though, that we’ve all come to expect a little spam in our lives at this point.  It just goes with the territory, especially if you publish your real e-mail address without resorting to using ‘at’ or ‘dot’ to deter spam bots.

The HoP did recently get an interesting piece of spam, which was followed up by a half baked second e-mail from the same source, which is about the point where I got pissed off.  Spam me once- shame on me.  Spam me twice- you deserve to be fucked with.

That’s really it for my random thoughts today, but I’ll leave you with the e-mail thread in question for your amusement.  Sure it’s not spider e-mail, but I think it’s pretty funny nonetheless.

E-mail 1

“Hi,

Hope you are doing well.

Are you interested in promoting your business online? If Yes, We can help
you to increase your reach to local market and international market.

We will promote your business/products online through Search Engine
optimization. A genuine process of marketing your products/services at
minimum cost.

Today, more and more people are shifting online for buying products and
are using search engines to find the same. Is your website has enough
visibility on
search engines like Google, Yahoo and Bing, If No, you might be loosing
your local customers who are willing to search for your products or
services but cannot find your website.

We can help you to bring your website on first page of search engines so
that you will get relevant traffic on your website.

Let me know if you are interested and we can provide more details on how
we intend to do it.

I look forward to your mail.

Best Regards
xxxxxxxxxx
Manager – Business Development”

E-mail 2

Hi,Hope you are doing well.

Haven’t heard back from you, just wondering if you are interested in our
services or not.

xxxxx
Manager – Business Development

My Reply
xxxx,

We are absolutely 100% disinterested in your services, but thank you for taking the time and making the effort to spam our inbox.  It’s great to know that quality businesses such as yours are willing to go the extra mile and blindly throw e-mails to every single website on the entire Internet regardless of whether or not your services are applicable, desirable, or useful.

best,
dethtron
Manager- dealing with a-hole spammers

================================
*I’ll just leave that one hanging and see how long it takes somebody to figure that out.

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  • Bush Craft

    First of all, I literally watched The Big Lebowski an hour ago. So hell yeah.
    Second of all, liking the new site. Muchly improved. Hard work pays off. It’s really tying the room together.

    • I’m so happy the comments are disqus. They never really emailed me right before when someone responded, so they’d get utterly buried somewhere! Now i get a nice little bing when someone replies…everything is working together!